The Well is Dry...

I wish I could tell you that things were back to normal, that all is well, that (maybe) we have a new doggo, that everyone was fine. 

But it's not, we don't, and we're not. 

The good news is that we made it through Holy Week and Easter. The bad news is that some promises got broken, feelings were hurt, and frankly, I'm so dry of inspiration that I could be in the middle of Death Valley and not even notice the scorpions approaching... 

All my girls are home, and even though my BFF says this is creepy, this is where they currently reside. Everyone does their thing and I'm not going to lie - it does give us some comfort. It's actually only coincidental that all the urns match. Hence the collars. I wanted to get matching memorial stones, but I think the company that did Tippi's went out of business because I couldn't find them. Anyway, we re-did Raisa's and did Quinn's via a company out of England. You can see Quinn's at the far right. The middle one of Raisa was one I got off Etsy and frankly, I didn't like it. So Raisa's & Quinn's match. One day, when we actually have spring and summer, I may put everyone's stones out in the rock garden. 

This may be my most "ugh" blog entry ever, sorry. But what comes out of my fingers comes out of my fingers...I didn't want it to be that way, but that's my whole writing process.  

The Knitting...

The "over-use" injury to my left hand is, if nothing else, getting worse. But I started knitting again - I have deadlines to meet. However, I've started to time myself. I can do about an hour with a sock-weight yarn, and a little less with a bulkier yarn. Sounds funny, but think about it --- the size of the yarn determines the heaviness of the yarn and the project. 

The baby blanket is done. I took a picture, noticed a dropped stitch and said something nasty. We're gonna have to bless this one! The good news is that since the yarn was held double, the dropped stitch (in the middle, natch...) wasn't a total disaster. I was able to pull through using that same color and weave in ends. Not gorgeous from the back, but from the front, invisible. Hubby, once his own grief-fog lifted somewhat, said to me, near the end of this project, "What are you knitting?" 

He never asks... Anyway. I showed him the project, and he actually said the colors were "really pretty and bright," again - usually, I get a "looks fine" from him. 

Mind you, I am NOT complaining. He's fantastic when I want to match color. As many long-time readers may know, he's got a great eye for color and often comes up with things I'd never think of and voila! They work. He and my mom have that in common. Anyway, he thought it was really cool, and I ws going to use that green variegated with some lime green yarn for a baby hat. Held singly, though, because double it is kind of substantial, which is good for a blanket but not what you want for a hat for a baby. 

Again, 8-hour baby blanket pattern (available just about anywhere) using Encore Worsted - 4 balls. This particular colorway is 2 of a solid and 2 of anything else. I tend toward using a solid and then a tweed of that same color family, but pickings were scant when I went to the yarn shop. So this is what I ended up with and it's really growing on me. 

I also have a fleece blanket planned for this little one - one side a gorgeous pewter grey for the bottom, and a wild tie-dye for the top. Did I say that I didn't like "traditional" baby colors? 

I don't. I'll knit that if I'm told to do so (and sometimes, if it's a relative particularly, and they know they're getting one, my mom will tell me if the nursery is "trad" or not). Otherwise, I'm doing jewel-tones, high contrast, etc. It's more fun and less boring. 

So after I finished this, I got some PurlSoho Echo Cashmere (95% recycled cashmere and 5% other stuff)... and am doing a Simplicity Scarf. I caught a sale on the yarn, and it's a purple - looks kind of heather-ish, and knits up really nicely. 

Good stitch definition, soft in the hand. The color is very rich; it's a nice deep purple with little tints of the 5% "other" in different tones. I'm doing the longer version, so that was a cast on of 375 stitches. NO WAY was I going to "guess-timate" the length for the long tail cast on, and I only recently came across a reasonably accurate cast on calculator (read on for that link). So I did a knitted cast on. It was interesting to work with that again. I've done that technique to add stitches in the middle of a project, like for my simple baby sweater. 

But never that many stitches. Actually, the beauty of this was that I could just knit along for a while to get the movements into my hands, and then I could stop and count. It does take a while to do that many stitches. 

I was able to knit outside on the porch yesterday (Easter Sunday) because it was nice outside. Today, it's about 10 degrees colder, and we're looking at the potential for snow by Wednesday. Welcome to April in Illinois!

Anyway, I'm doing the large one, which is 6" from the cast on edge. I've got about 2 1/2" in, and because it's so freaking long, it does take a bit to finish a row. 

I can do about 4 rows and then I have to set it down for a while. 

For the life of me, though, I'm having a mental-pause on the knitted row. I cannot -- just CANNOT - process the M1L. Do you know how many of those I've done? Not quite a zillion, but pretty close. But for some reason, this just isn't sinking in. I've watched Very Pink Knits You Tube. Every. Single. Time. Call it long Covid brain or just The Other Thing. But I just can't manage to remember how to do it. 

As far as the long tail calculator, I'm linking this video - please take a look and if you're interested, sign on to get her info. Purl Together is another source I do like. That's the fun of the You Tube knitting community - you can really find some great resources. 

The Injury...

Well, I was wearing the brace, doing the compression gloves, using lidocaine and some special "pain ointment" as well as Tylenol, red light, and ice (not simultaneously!). And there's a lump in my hand right where the thumb is attached to the wrist. It's just not going away. 

Fair point, I'm not exactly resting it. I mean, I'm not slinging horse crap, but I do have to work. I'm also not doing much yoga (again)... I did one class of a 3-class workshop I was taking, because I can't put any weight on it. Unscrewing a toothpaste tube is not fun. Bending or flexing is not fun. Needless to say, I picked up the guitar to practice for Good Friday ("Were You There") and it was a big old nopity-nope. I couldn't bend my wrist enough to get the chords. 

So I made another appointment for the hand person. End of this month. I'll let you know. The good news (I'm trying, really...) is that the last time I saw the NP, we had an X-ray and the screw where the thumb is fused is just gorgeous and in place right where it should be. That was something I was really worried about. 

I'm working with Tom Myers' energy trains and trying a hand massage to see if that helps. 

The Other Thing...

A long time ago, when I was in graduate school, we took a class in our HR module where we did testing for various things: the Myers-Briggs, a few other "what do you want to be when you grow up" tests, and some screenings. 

At that time, I was going through Some Stuff. One of which was my dad in the process of dying. It was just a few years after we'd moved back home, and the kids were just getting to know their grandparents. Life sucks. 

Anyway, I remember after doing one of the screenings, the instructor looked at the results and called out, "I need to see Number XYZ" (we were all numbers so the results were anonymous). That was me. It was quite sobering because the instructor told me that the screening clearly pointed to significant depression. Not the "I'm just sad and out of sorts" stuff, but clinical depression. 

I did talk to my neurologist and tried a couple things. Nothing seemed to work. And I'm complicated. I've mentioned it to my GP and my cardiologist and all 3 docs came to the same conclusion: I'm complicated. Because of meds I take for my heart, which really don't play well with the meds I take for seizures (thanks again, Covid), the combo there would be pretty difficult to balance with anti-depressants. Which have a host of side effects, which include seizures and some wonky thing with heart rhythms. 

Oh joy. 

Which brings us to now. I'm in a rough patch. I will cry at the drop of a hat. I can't sleep. I'm comfort-eating. I can't distract myself. My fuse is so short as to be nearly invisible, which is not cool. I have a sharp tongue -- that's not part of the depression. That's just who I am and I have to be very careful. Words can hurt. My filters are fading a bit, and I'm scared of that. 

I was able to pass off a lot of this due to work stress -- working at a church during Holy Week and Easter without a priest and with a bishop's visit pending? That'll curl your hair. Lucky for me I'm already totally grey... I've snarled at my kids and at Hubby. I haven't talked to my brother in a while, and I'm avoiding him. He'll want to know what's going on and I don't think I want to scare him. I did do a slight snap at someone at church. There was a personality conflict and I basically said, "Not my circus, not my monkeys. You two work it out now. " I think they were expecting sympathy. Sorry - I'm fresh out. 

There has also been some static in situations involving volunteer work, and I find that I'm no longer "the coolest head in the room." I am just so freaking tired of drama. And that's not the usual "can't we all just get along?" thing... This is "I really, really can't deal with you people anymore." And that bothers me because I am picky about where I volunteer and each place has a lot of meaning for me. 

I need to find a therapist. My problem is, I know a lot of them. Personally. And I don't want to talk to someone I know as a friend or socially. I know all about confidentiality and that sort of thing, but we're all human and I don't think I would feel comfortable taking a deep dive into my psyche with someone I know. 

So I guess I'll ask my friends for some referrals. I am also not comfortable just taking a look through the Yellow Pages (yeah, I'm that old...). 

In the meantime, I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe it'll pass. But more likely, it's time I tackled this head-on. I can't keep doing this. The older I get, the more I see how I'm actually cheating myself. Enough of that. 

The Garden...

So it's April 1st. And Mother Nature is in a mood. Yesterday, it was gorgeous, as I said before. The hyacinths are in bloom, the Monster Bleeding Heart has started to bud, as have the lilacs. The lily of the valley is pushing up shoots, and the lavender is greening up, as well as my beloved Icelandic Poppy. I can see bits of bee balm and a few things I can't quite identify yet, but I'm also trying to convince Hubby to do No Mow May...to leave the yard unmowed till Mother's Day. Or at least a chunk of it...to let the pollinators come out of their hibernation. 

And Wednesday it might snow. Of course. 

As I was knitting, I needed a break, so I got up to take pictures. I figured that if this week's weather took everything out, at least I had evidence that it used to be there. Along the north side of the front yard, we have a row of day lilies. I think I want to take those out, replant as many as I can along the front of the yard, and then plant some bushes for Raisa, Tippi, Quinn, and my sister. We hadn't planted anything for her and Tippi - and we usually do plant a memorial thing. Both of them died in cold weather, and by the time I was able to plant, I was laid up with the hip thing and couldn't go out and pick something out for them. And now they're all gone, so it's time to do something. 

Hubby has talked about removing the 2 lilacs at the end of the sidewalk - he thought he planted them too close to the sidewalk, and neither of us thinks they'll survive a transplant. We keep them about 7 feet tall, but they do overgrow sideways and one has some pretty bad suckers. 

So maybe we put a couple lilacs on the north side, then some forsythia at the end of the sidewalk. Those you can trim up nicely and they'll still look gorgeous. 

I'm still not sure about the veggie garden. I'm thinking small. Hubby's not sure about one at all - and admittedly, he does most of the veggie garden stuff. I do the flowers. So we'll see about that. 

Easter on Palm Sunday...

Regular readers know that we do things differently. We do the major holidays (except for Xmas Eve - that's in concrete) the Sunday before. So this Easter, we had an interesting mix of lasagne, salad, garlic bread, chicken enchiladas, and fruit. We did the lasagne and garlic bread, and for The Vegan Kid, I did donuts - which I didn't bring to the house. I knew the family would scarf them down. So I put together a little Easter basket. I'm not sure they made it home, but that's not my problem. 

I also did vegan stuffed peppers. I bought orange ones (on request) and stuffed them with a mixture of farro, mushrooms, kale, chives, spring onion and celery. I had extra filling, so I brought it -- and they ate it... My brother managed to take a pepper home, and really enjoyed it. 

Obviously, that picture is not the stuffed peppers. We have these large catering pans, and we took the 3" one and made a 5-layer lasagne. With smoked provolone, mozzarella, sharp Italian, and Parm, along with several pints of our own home-made sauce. THEN my niece tells me that she and her oldest kid are cheese-intolerant. Well, not totally intolerant. She ate it and so did the kid. They just said they would have a "good tummy ache." Oh well. Now I know. Guess maybe next year we skip that. In my defense, the chicken enchiladas also had cheese...And they did know we were going to have lasagne, so if you don't speak up, you get fed what I cook. I'm happy to turn over cooking duties for once, but since there are usually only crickets when I suggest that? Deal with it. 

The vegan donuts were with the help of my friend's Baby Cakes donut maker. I must have one of these. I had asked her to borrow a donut pan (the recipe is for baked donuts, much easier and less messy), and she said, "I'm bringing this - you're gonna love it!"

Oy. I do. I made 2 varieties: an apple spice, dusted with cinnamon sugar and a chocolate dipped in a chocolate glaze. They're so stinking cute! I used a chopstick to remove them from the pan, it makes 4 at a time, and it's about 6 minutes per batch. 

I did bring some leftovers to church and they were gone. Heaven knows they're super easy to make, so I may end up buying one and then doing that every so often for coffee hour. 

Random Picture...

A number of years ago, we went to Europe. We traveled to Lyon, France, and went up into Switzerland.

It was Hubby's first time over there, and my second (a graduation trip to Greece in the ancient days...), and we had a blast. Everyone asks what we brought back for souvenirs, and it was like, "5 memory cards full of pictures!" I did bring back some lavender from Provence, but customs searched HUBBY'S suitcase, not mine. Go figure! 

Anyway, have I talked about that 2-part scarf project, finally completing it? This is the blue part. I told you it was one of my longest-running WIPs...it was around 2013. I took it everywhere I traveled, and back then, it wasn't uncommon for me to travel a lot. Workshops, trainings, fun travel...this scarf went with me everywhere. It was my travel project. Notwithstanding the fact that I used a circular needle, the TSA let me take it on planes (you really can hurt someone with those needles, but who am I to argue??). Here, we were waiting for our parasailing adventure and I had it in my bag. The scarf hit both France and Switzerland. For the brief time we were in Italy (a drive-through) I wasn't knitting. 

I would love to plan a trip again. Maybe to see the Northern Lights. Or the North Pole before it melts. A girl can dream. I just have to find the right travel project. 

Quinn Unn Gerda

Saturday will be 3 weeks...And I still find myself sifting through memories. Buckle up, grab a beverage and settle in. Here is The Story of Quinn.

A little while after we got Tippi, we got news that Quinn was in need of a home. At first, my sister said she'd take her, so up Hubby went to get her. I was recovering from hand surgery, and Tippi was still getting used to us, so...that's how that went. It turned out that Quinn wasn't all that fond of men. And she took quite some time to adjust to our mainly-male household. 

I have a clear memory (though no photo) of Kid #1 trying to hand-feed Quinn, who was hiding under the dining room table. Ultimately, she was not only an EPIC foster-fail, but she feel in love with ALL THE GUYS...She definitely overcame her fear. I'm pretty sure our friend and facilitator of this "foster" knew in her heart that it was going to "fail." 

Quinn had her personality challenge, let's be honest. She was a snot. At that time, we had Tippi and our red husky, River, who was a retired show dog. Tippi wanted NOTHING to do with Quinn. (I know - Tippi was hardly "mother of the year.") River, taking a look at the situation, and assessing as a Husky would, swatted Quinn upside the head and then pinned her down with The Husky Paw of Pain and Quinn -- surprisingly -- fell in love and was devoted to Rover for the rest of River's life. (that is her sharing River's space - they often slept close to each other)

Quinn was our snuggle-bunny. She loved getting right in the middle of where the people were. She loved her "kids" and she loved to sit on them. Yes. ON them. She also found "under my chair" her favorite space. As a puppy she could get her whole self under there. As she grew, it was eventually only her head. For a good 12 years, I was never able to recline that chair - at least without checking first to see if she was anywhere near it.

She would bark. And bark. And bark. She was capable of at least a two-octave range. She sounded like we had at least 3 MORE dogs!! Her favorite perch was a little stool we placed at the front window, just to save the window's woodwork. Everyone knew Quinn. Everyone...

She also loved to challenge her place on the couch - it was usually between me and Hubby. If we dared to sit close to each other, one of two things happened: She either sat in front of us and stared, aternately, at each of us with that special, piercing Elkhound gaze -- till we gave her space. OR -- she jumped up alongside whichever one was in the middle part of the couch, and then wormed (bulldozed) her way between us. It was always a question of which one of us would get her butt in our face. When I had my hip replaced this past summer and Hubby helped me do home PT, she was right there on that couch, touching me in some way, and making sure he was taking care of me properly. 

She went through all 4 levels of obedience, and attained her Canine Good Citizen. She never really had the temperament for a therapy dog; and that was fine. She was who she was. 

Her worst nightmare was the awful curse of sebaceous cysts that she suffered with. In the Elkhound world, we've all had that discussion - we wish Quinn would've been one of those who "grew out of them," but sadly, she was plagued. Sidney was able to take on most of that care -- my job was holding her head and telling her she was the BESTEST GIRL while he did what had to be done. Needless to say, she was not happy when she had a bad flare up. Otherwise, though? She was the healthiest dog. She had beautiful teeth till she died. Her smile was contagious. 

When we brought Raisa into the house, we were still a happy band of three till Raisa hit her teens (around age 3-4). Then, she and Quinn? Not good. To be honest, I had several long conversations with the late, great Steve Chester...a giant in the rescue world; his advice saved my sanity more than once. We were a gated community until Raisa's untimely death in September 2023. Quinn suddenly became an "only dog," and to be honest? I don't know that she liked it. And sadly, she didn't have much time to adjust, since her diagnosis of advanced lymphoma was in October 2023... Definitely not divine timing.

Her other love, aside from snuggling and dressing up in weird hats and costumes for Howl-O-Ween, was running in the snow. None of us is a fan of the current snow-less winters, and we took complete advantage of the dog park when we got blizzards. Nobody else in town was crazy enough to join us, so we had the park to ourselves. Sadly, there were never enough blizzards for either of us. 

She was our "perpetual puppy" -- she always looked younger than she was, up till she was about 12 years old. She was alwas skinny -- "Skinny Quinnie" was just one of her many nicknames. She was always active. I remember trying to teach Tippi to go up a ramp to get into my truck. I had both dogs out there. Treats on the ramp. Tippi went up far enough to scoop up 3 or 4 treats. Quinn just went airborne, leaped into the truck and looked at me as if to say, "Ok, treat, please!" Both of them entirely missed the point of the ramp. Elkhounds....what can you do??  

She was a leggy girl, with a cinnabon tail, and a rogue-ish personality. She had three tricks in her arsenal, and that's what you got. She loved to dress up, stalk Hubby for toast, play with her Kong bone, and she used to jump up and sit on my lap in my chair (all 60 pounds of her) -- she would do that till she was about 12 years old. I had to make sure to pay attention, because she didn't care if I was knitting or not. When she wanted up, she wanted up. She loved frozen blueberries and cheese, and from a dead-sleep, she could tell which one I was opening up and she'd be right behind me before I knew it.  

Almost 14.5 years. Wasn't nearly enough time. We miss her.

And Then There Were None...

 Quinn Unn Gerda

11/2009 - 2/2014

Our beloved Norwegian Elkhound Warrior Princess has earned her wings. We knew from the diagnosis in October 2023 that she was not going to have a lot of time. She gave us more time than the vet (and we) expected. Because that's how she rolls -- rolled. She was just shy of 14 1/2 years old. 

I'll write more later, once my brain settles down a bit. 

What. The. Fluff....

I mean, really. I refuse to ask "what now?" but I will say WHAT. THE. FLUFF...

Last week, at our women's group meeting, I said, "I'm sitting here and staying away from everyone, because I feel like I'm coming down with a cold."

By that Friday, I ended up at the urgent care. They said a vague "there's a crud going around, just watch so that you don't end up with pneumonia." Sent me home with OTC meds because apparently, some of the prescription stuff I'm on, they can't prescribe certain things. 

This past Sunday was our family's Thanksgiving. So Hubby made the turkey, I did the vegan stuffing, a soba noodle dish, and a vegan lemon cake. Oh, and we were planning home-made whipped cream (my sister adored Cool Whip - ugh - and the rest of us loved the stuff in the can). I had purchased a carton of heavy cream and didn't end up using it, so I figured we'd use our homemade vanilla and treat the fam to something interesting. 

But after the Friday appointment, I made the decision to stay home. I just didn't feel like it was a good idea to go. And when Kid #2 came over to do the spuds, I masked up and stayed away from everyone. I was hacking up a storm, but I had no fever, no chills, nothing. Oh, I was sore from the coughing, and lemme tell ya - a big honking cough with a 65-year old bladder? Yikes... 

Turns out it was a very good choice to stay home. Not because of Quinn, though I was worried about leaving her home alone for an extended period of time. Her potty calls are getting to be a bit more frequent, though she hasn't had any accidents in the house. 

On this past Tuesday, I went back to the doctor. I hadn't really slept since the Thursday-ish before because of the coughing. It wasn't getting better with the OTC stuff. And I had lost my voice. Cancelled my remaining PT appointments and pushed them back 10 days. 

Turns out, I have RSV.... Check here for what this is. The commercials you may have seen regarding either the babies or the elders -- they're not wrong. I am sick as the proverbial dog. Still no fever to speak of, the body aches are because I'm trying to sleep sitting up and I'm coughing like crazy. And what I have is considered "mild." 

It was a good call to not go, because we have a 6-month-old baby and my mom. There is a bright spot here... my mom and several friends, seeing how sick I am, have gone and gotten their RSV vaccine. 

They have me on an OTC med, tessalon pearls, a nasal spray and an inhaler now. The OTC med is ridiculously difficult to get open. I mean, I see the point, since the pills look like orange jelly beans. But I need scissors and basically a small knitting needle to get into the "tear here" portion of the package. 

This is supposed to be an expectorant and decongestant. Like in the Shrek movie, "Better out than in." The pearls make it so that you don't hurt when you cough. And the inhaler opens up the bronchials. No antibiotics - this is a virus. 

RSV is EXTREMELY contagious. Thankful for Hubby's wonky souped-up immune system. He's managed to not be seriously ill since he was in high school. I'm coughing into my elbow. Washing my hands. Staying kind of in my own area. We were supposed to have a small dinner on the "real" Thanksgiving, but I told everyone -- Hubby told everyone, since I can't talk much -- to stay home. 

I will be able to go to work next week, but I'm wearing a mask. My voice is still a little rocky, so I'll stay home from church, and I got a sub for my yoga classes; at this point, I can say a few words in a row, but that triggers coughing. 

And as soon as I can, I'm getting the blasted vaccine. I was waffling. See what good it did? I don't even know where I picked this up. But it sucks. And I'm over it. 

Thanksgiving... 

So everyone enjoyed everything and even ate the vegan dishes! Win-win! My mother has also decreed that "henceforth, we shall have home-made whipped cream," so I guess I need to buy 2 cartons for Christmas. 

The lemon cake was really pretty good. As Kid #2 puts it, there's no magic in vegan cooking - just using other ingredients. It was meant to be a layer cake, or a 13x9, but I did it in a Bundt pan. Not sure that I'd do that again. I have a nice 12" ring pan that might be better. 

The recipe had some erzatz "buttercream," but I'm told that if you use vegan butter and regular shortening, my own recipe for buttercream turns out just fine. Nonetheless, this one got a dusting of powdered sugar. Hubby managed to scrape together some whipped cream from the vultures... and so I had a slice of this with the whipped cream. It was really nice and moist. Good crumb. I would probably add more lemon zest in the batter. And I might try my own buttercream on this one, just vegan it up. 

The stuffing went well too. I did 4 kinds of bread: a French loaf, sourdough, pretzel bread and pita bread. Cut them up, dried them in the oven and then added all the veggies, dried cranberries, cut up a couple apples and tossed them in there. Leeks. Veggie broth and vegan butter. It was really pretty good. Just juicy enough, not soggy and not heavy. 

I asked The Kid about the "main" vegan dish, and ended up going with a soba noodle concoction with a Greek dressing. I diced up a butternut squash, roasted it along with mushrooms (white and mini bellas), shredded carrots, chopped spinach, and roasted red peppers. Tossed it with the noodles and the vegan Greek dressing. It was warm; but it could also be served cold or room temperature. You could also add beans to it, but I didn't this time. Funny enough, everyone ate some of it! 

We boiled the carcass with the veggies I stuffed inside of it (we don't stuff our bird). The fruit & veggies this year were: 1 lemon, 1 apple, 2 carrots, 4 celery stalks. Just cut 'em up and poke them into the cavity, and then the front end of the bird. The bird then gets a massage of olive oil, some salt & pepper, and rosemary under the skin and in the cavity. Roast it... 

So after we boiled the carcass and veggies, we plucked the bones clean, set that meat aside, and whizzed the broth. I made soup with thin egg noodles, and have been eating that all week. 

Seems like everyone liked everything, from the texts I got. And yes, they were appreciative that I kept my sick behind at home!

Reading...

I've been reading my usual mysteries, but I bought this actual book, Greg Louganis' autobiography entitled "Breaking the Surface." It's fascinating. And an easy read. I admired him during the Olympics, and now after reading this, I feel sad. Pick it up. You'll learn a lot. I was amazed, watching him compete, how a guy his size (I don't know - it was hard to judge, but he's not a small man like some of the Japanese divers) could rip into the water with nary a splash. Nobody does it like he did it. And he's still, in my opinion, the world's greatest diver. I don't think anyone has beaten his record of 4 golds in consecutive Olympics. 

I've been reading and going down the rabbit hole of YouTube, lots of Harry & Meghan videos. Though I did see the tiara that Katherine, Princess of Wales wore recently. I was so happy to see the Strathmore Rose tiara come out into the light of day. As I recall, this tiara was in contention for Meghan to wear, but once I saw her (not too well-tailored) wedding dress, I realized the tiara she wore actually matched it much better. 

Of course, Katherine could wear a sack and look good, but on this instance she was a real stunner... and the tiara was perfect. She's not suited to the bigger, bolder ones (except for the Cambridge Lover's Knot). Camilla can carry those big honkers off much better. The fact that this tiara was just kind of stuck in the vault for a century is kind of bonkers. But it suited her dress and her head. Here's some info on this little bauble..and also where I plucked this picture from, giving credit where credit is due. 

I do like the "flapper" version but I honestly don't think Kate could have carried that one off. The dress was too modern. It wouldn't have looked right. And if nothing else, she usually does try to make everything perfect. 

Knitting...

I'm also getting a lot of knitting done. The mindless Part 2 of the Bias Before & After scarf is coming along well. I'm really digging the "matcha latte" color. I think I've got about 31" or so. I can see the ball of yarn coming down, which is perfect. 

I really think this will be done if not in December, early in January, so I can block them both and still have enough of the cooler weather to wear them. Hopefully - they're calling for an El Nino winter and sometimes I feel like they don't even really know what that means. 

I kind of want to speed this along so that I can get to the beading. And I want to see how that updated provisional caston un-picks, considering that I really faffed up the one on the peacock scarf. It was just so clunky. 

After that, I may go back and finish the sock for the North-South-East-West pair to have them off my needles and in the sock rotation. And then I have to decide: The DROPS sweater? The black/brown Expression Fiber Arts shawl WIP? Start up the Long Sands? It's going to be tough. 

Oh, and an update from the Cascade Heritage Sock - the Petty Harbours that I finished? They washed up like a dream. Were so yummy to wear. And they didn't pill. Though I've only worn them once. So we'll see how they wear long-term. 

If nothing else, I'd buy a solid in that yarn and do the most warm and cuddly shawl. It would be awesome. 

Random Picture...

I was all set to give you an update on the ornaments, when I remembered I had already done that! Yikes. My brain... 

So instead, I reached back, WAYYYYYYYYYYY back, into the NAS and found this picture. 

It's St. Mary Lake, Goose Island in Glacier National Park. I can't even tell you how old this is. I am pretty sure I took this with my honest-to-God CAMERA, my Canon. 

This is one of my favorite spots in Glacier. We didn't go often enough. I'm hoping we will have time to go again. We haven't been back since my mother-in-law's funeral, and at that, we certainly didn't have time to go to the park. Being that it was in April, if I remember, the park wasn't open. It usually doesn't open till June. 

Now with the new hip, I'm in better shape to actually travel without being bound by the pain. Just have to figure out where we want to go. 

General Update...

We're hanging in there with Quinn. We can see changes; we know what's coming. Now, it's all in the timing. Not letting our hearts rule, but our heads. Or in the words of our vet, "Better a day early than a day late." She's moving slower. She's taking longer to eat. She can't get on the couch as easily as she used to. She's going out MANY times per day, and drinking a lot of water. She paces, and sometimes stares out into space. The lymph nodes are increasing in size and her stomach is a bit bloated - but rest assured, the poop factory is working well!

Hubby takes her for short walks, and she seems to enjoy them - when she's done, she turns him toward home and they come back. 

She's getting "reasonably" spoiled. I'm not about to totally toss all the food she'd like at her -- no sense cleaning it up when it comes back up. Quinn has always had a dicey tummy, and even though she might WANT to eat stuff, there is a lot she should NOT eat. She gets to lick out my yogurt cup, she gets frozen blueberries, a snik of chicken or turkey (no skin or fat), her usual toast, half a banana at bedtime (this has been a life-long thing, so she has a little something on her stomach overnight)... lots of treats, considering. She got salmon skin the other night when we had it for dinner. 

She still gets the occasional "back rub zoomies," and seems happy. But there's an air about her, and I can't put my finger on it. Hubby has asked me "how much do you want to know," because he's keeping a tighter track on her. I told him that a lot of me is in denial. I just don't want to know. But it's not fair to him, so I told him I would like to "judiciously" know. I'm not using the internet to look for symptoms (he is). I'm not doom-scrolling the pet-grief pages. I'm trying to be present with her, as she is, right now. Some days, it's easier than others. 

So. We wait. 

The First Cold...

Not of the season. I'm talking common cold. Round about Tuesday, I wasn't feeling great, but hey - not like there's nothing going on around here.  

Started out feeling stuffed up and then it moved, as it typically does, down my throat. I have a lovely situation where, instead of being able to blow my nose with any results, all the gunk goes down my throat (sorry...TMI). Results are, of course, a cough. 

I took Thursday off, because I woke up without a voice. Cancelled my yoga class. Then Friday, just as bad -- thankfully no worse, and not The Plague (I tested Tuesday & Wednesday to be sure). It's fine, as long as I don't talk. So I'm also cancelling my Saturday sub job and Sunday Yin class. It's hit me like a ton of bricks, and I just want to sit and stare at a blank wall. 

Maybe it'll go away by Saturday, but I'd rather not pass these germs to anyone else. I want to be able to attend our family's Thanksgiving, which we do on this Sunday. Not like we're Canadian or anything (all due respect to our neighbors up north), we just have a lot of kids who have to carve up their holiday like you'd carve that bird...so we just have it the Sunday before and it seems to work ok for everyone. 

This year, it's back at my mom's house. She just wants what she wants, and it's hard to change some folks. We're doing the following:

Turkey, vegan stuffing, gravy

Vegan Lemon cake

Homemade whipped cream with our own vanilla

Bread & mashed potatoes

Cranberry sauce

Soba noodles & roasted veggies for the resident vegan

Other family members are also contributing, but we usually do the turkey and the vegan stuff because --- we do it better!

After he gets done roasting the turkey, I get the carcass, add more veggies and herbs and reduce it down for broth for later. Turkey soup with noodles is delicious! Just have to have a robust broth. So I use carrots, celery, onion, bay leaf, salt, pepper, and Penzey's Tuscan Seasoning, which is a salt-free blend. 

And then on the regular day, Hubby  has ordered a take-out dinner - not like we need the food, but that way, my mom doesn't have complaints about "never being invited anywhere." Personally, I'd shove an old movie on, eat a turkey sandwich and call it a day. Instead, we're doing the catered dinner and the following:

Vegan pumpkin pie & vegan whipped cream

Gnocchi and roasted brussel sprouts with tomatoes for the resident vegan

There will be a non-vegan dessert included in the take-out. 

So... random memory: Raisa used to howl like the dickens when Hubby got out the electric carving knife. He's carving up the turkey (we bake it before then reheat, and yes, it's usually delicious!). With the electric carving knife. And there's not a peep, because if she IS howling along, it's over the Rainbow Bridge, and we can't hear her. Just one of those "jabs to the heart," as we try to grapple with her loss and the pending issues with Quinny...

The Knitting...

As a result of All. The. Stuff. -- I'm sticking with a mindless knitting project and am trying to finish what may well be my oldest, or nearest to, WIP. It's the Bias Before and After, which I've mentioned. Well, I finished the peacock one, did the beading (which I'm now all jazzed about) and undid the provisional cast-on to bead that end. 

There are some Things I Would Do Differently. So on the matcha-colored one (which, when I bought it, I thought it was lime, but it's not "lime" enough and it's not "sage" enough - it looks like my matcha latte, so that is what I shall call it) -- I did a different provisional cast on, over the needle and used a slightly smaller yarn. I think it will help when I tink it and do the beading. It will also help that the thing isn't going to be 10 years old... Just sayin.

You can see here why it's called "Before and After." This thing definitely needs a blocking. I will likely block them both after Christmas. I will need space, and some time to get the blocking wires just right. I'm looking forward to seeing how it looks blocked out. The matcha green matches that green in the yarn. Due to vagaries in lighting and camera quality, the pictures aren't as nice as I would like. In real life, it's actually quite pretty. Though maybe I should have picked that light blue as the contrast, I really loved how the matcha green looked. While I don't wear green a lot, I do wear basic colors such as black, navy blue and grey, so this could go with a few sweaters I have. 

And I did buy wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too many beads. I only needed 1 tube of each color and I have 3 of each color. So there will be Things To Bead at some point. Who knows? Maybe I'll bead some socks. (Yeah, probably not, but I know it's a thing) Or maybe a scarf, which will be nice. Wristlets or fingerless mitts would also be good. Lots of ideas. But they'd have to be fingering-weight or less, because these beads are going on lace weight. 

The green is knitting up pretty fast. It's a simple increase/decrease on the K side, and purl back, and I've got about 14-16" even though it doesn't look like I've made a dent in the ball of yarn. The other colorway went the same till ZAPPO --- I was near the end. I have to have 2 feet or so (and I'll likely do a bit more) to bind off with the beads. I use a crochet hook to put the bead on the stitch, instead of pre-stringing them. 

This is definitely one of those "knit when you're tired" or "knit when you're stressed" projects. I can zip along when I'm watching a movie or reading. Or as a wind-down before bedtime. 

The lace yarn is like butter in my hands. The alpaca will have a bit of a halo to it once it's rinsed and blocked. I love that - because you don't have to wear pounds of yarn to stay warm. 

So the Drops sweater will wait till 2024. I just don't have the bandwidth or the brain power to deal with it right now. 

The Ornaments...

This year, I'm doing 7 of them, because of the new baby. I had to order the whole 18 years, plus a few more in case of breakage. So the theme for this little one is "angels and stars." I finished out one (theme of trees) and I have another one who's ending in about 4 years (theme of wreaths). 

It's probably a condition of "doing them for decades" -- but I generally have, in the past few years, picked a color scheme and I manage to do them all in that same scheme for everyone. Back in the very, very beginning, I think I used all 300 of my colors (not actually that many, but I did it more as individual ornaments rather than an assembly line). 

I know I will be doing white, black, and some shade of green (though now that the tree series is over, maybe less green??). And some years, I stain some of them. Others may get a different varnish. Some get artificial "snow" effect paint, and most of them get glitter. 

I still enjoy doing them, and I still get enthusiastic responses (or maybe just polite and I'm extrapolating). Doesn't matter to me, I will keep doing them as long as my hands are steady. 

These are them - finished. I did blot out the names on the "name tag" themed ones. Just my own plug for safety. Regardless of how the parents handle social media, I will omit names where necessary. Call me old-school, won't make me lose any sleep. 

Four of these all got glitter and a bunch got metallic paint. There was a happy accident on the angel's gown. The copper paint leaked over to the barn red, so I blended the two of them. It looks cool to me. I did an angel series a few years ago, and it was nice to have some fun with the garments. These angels are a little more old-fashioned, but I can work with them. 

Random Picture...

And a rant. So since I've been feeling rotten, I've had the TV on just for noise. This commercial has been on every single time. That, or the one with "Martha," who's screeching about her Medicare. Or the frosted blond who screams at her husband about Medicare Part C. Or Medicare Advantage. Or The Great Rip-Off Perpetrated by Big Insurance... People. It's the biggest scam going. Big insurance companies, such as Humana, Aetna, United Health Care and others have bought & paid for politicians. Who allow them to use the "Medicare" name, which is trusted as a solid government program which helps elders receive medical care. We've all paid into it since we started working, just like Social Security.

The ad has a sonorous male voice urging you to CALL NOW. NOW. RIGHT NOW. Drop what you're doing, grab the phone and talk to a "licensed insurance representative" (there's your first clue to the scam) to see if "plans are available in your ZIP code." The ad voiceover tells you in reassuring tones that it's good to "check your Medicare benefits" each year. 

Is it? Probably. I know my mom does it each year. But she does have Medicare Advantage, because our trusted insurance guy worked it out for her. 

Personally, I'm going on regular Medicare. My doctors have already told me they don't take Medicare Advantage because those "free plans" are basically HMOs full of "benefits," like a gym membership, but as far as health care, there are a crap-ton of gag orders they don't tell you about. So you will get sub-par medical care because your doctor is forbidden to mention certain treatments. 

Because the insurance companies treat patients like cogs in a wheel - they want our money but don't want to pay out in claims. So they tell the doctors they simply cannot give a good standard of care by mentioning Treatment A, B, or C. Because it's expensive. 

In the Hitchcock classic, "To Catch A Thief," Jessie Royce Landis was the actress who played the mother, often dripping in jewels. She says to the insurance adjustor, "If you can't stand the risk, you need to get out of the business," or something close to it. 

I say to insurance companies and CEOs with billion-dollar bonuses: If you can't provide the care we contracted for, get out of the business. I didn't contract for 'the cheapest care' - I contracted for at least the standard of care. And because the insurance lobby is powerful, they have their stable of purchased politicians, and they get huge profits while cutting care. 

The Maga-psycho-nutballs would have you believe that Social Security and Medicare are "entitlements" which is now a bad word, because it's a "hand-out." Um. No. 

I paid in to both Medicare and Social Security for decades. That's MY money. And YOURS. 

If Congress would stop raiding each of these, they'd be financially stable. If we could get legislation passed to have Medicare for All, Medicare would also be financially stable - open it up to the 40-50 year old crowd. Yeah, it would hurt Blue Cross and the other big boys. But hey, they can lop off a zero from that executive bonus... they won't even feel it. Honest. 

A Chance to Breathe?

Probably not... As I mentioned (late) in the last blog, Quinn has been diagnosed with Lymphoma and it's advanced. So right now, all we're doing is breathing. And waiting. There's nothing we can do in the way of chemo - she's 14, and it's in ALL her lymph nodes, so it's too far advanced. All we can do at this point is keep her comfortable, spoil her within reason, and spend time with her. 

She just celebrated her 14th birthday this past week, so we had some freeze-dried sprats, she licked my yogurt cup clean (vanilla & cinnamon), and she had lots of belly rubs. 

Lucky for us, we are able to mostly have one of us at home for her the whole day. So we don't know how much time she has, and that's the hard part. I mean, on a metaphysical level, NOBODY knows how much time they have, but we're numbering Quinn's time in weeks, not years. So there's that.  All we can do - or hope to do - is time it so that she's not suffering. Our vet usually says, "better a day early than a day late." It's really hard. Elkhounds are notorious for "not telling." A very stoic breed. We shall see. 

The Knitting...

Well, I have progress to report on what may be my oldest WIP (or at least the oldest I can lay my hands on. I know there's a lap robe and a shawl that I can't find, so those 2 are still MIA) - the Before & After Scarf, which is now called The Bias Before & After Scarf and now the beads are an alternative. 

I really don't like Provisional Cast On - and the first one, I will say, was INCREDIBLY clunky. I think I used a yarn that was too big, compared to the Silky Alpaca Lace (70% baby alpaca, 30% silk), by Classic Elite Yarns. I've used Classic Elite Yarn a couple of times, and the only thing I might have done differently is to knit this on bamboo needles. I'm using Addi Turbos, and those suckers are SLICK. They're meant to be smooth, and the fact that this is an open fabric and the needles are huge compared to the yarn? It can get a little slippery. So far, though, I haven't dropped any stitches. 

The reason it's called "before and after" is basically because before, it looks like a wrinkled rag. AFTER the blocking, the magic is truly exposed. As you can see in the picture at the right, it looks like a hot mess till you block it. That little wad of yarn in the picture is what you use to bind off. You set aside about 2 feet (I did more like 2.5 feet because I'm just that extra) and tie it up and out of your way at both the beginning and the end so you have it to add the beads to the finish. I'll get to use my blocking wires with this project! A few new skills to learn, with the provisional cast on, the beaded bind off and blocking with wires. 

The peacock colorway, the first one of the 2 scarves in the pattern, is the one I chose to do first. and this was my long-time "travel project." I wasn't in any hurry, and would bring it whenever I was going to a bunch of trade shows, and this peacock also has the distinction of being The Project I Took to Switzerland... I have pictures (I'll have to dig them up) of me knitting in various places in France and Switzerland with this project. 

I finished it yesterday, and I really am now hooked on the beading technique of using a crochet hook (see what I did there??) -- the jewel-toned beads for that scarf are really pretty. Can't wait to block this one!

I did start the green one; I'm not sure exactly what shade this is. At first, I remembered it as more "lime" but now, I'm thinking a bright sage. Opinions??? Take a peek below and right...what do you think? There's only a color number, so I guess we have to use our imaginations. 

I initially said, "screw it, I'm putting the beads right on the hem as I cast on," but then, a cooler moment prevailed. The purpose of the provisional cast on is to make each bind off identical... so I sucked it up and learned how to do it over the needle, so it's a lot neater than the first one I did. 

The scarves are knit on the bias, so it's an increase at the beginning and a decrease at the end. It's amazing how nicely the green is knitting up. Of course, it hasn't sat jammed into a project bag for 12-ish years, too... that might have something to do with it. Let's put it this way: I probably have 3-4 copies of this pattern just because I've had it in the works for so long and kept losing the paper pattern! 

The idea behind the project is that you can wear either or both. The one is a hand-painted and the other is a coordinating solid. Looking at the green, I probably should have pulled a light blue or a lilac to go with the peacock, but the green does match the peacock...I just don't wear a lot of green, so it might be a challenge. The plus of this, though, is that the beads for the green are a beautiful peridot color. So they will look spectacular once it's done. The scarves are in a lace-weight yarn, but I'm using a size 7 needle, so it will be a fairly open fabric, kind of like the Sally Mellville "Wingspan" which I also did in alpaca (but no silk in that yarn). The beauty of this is that alpaca has a slight 'halo' effect, and it's incredibly warm, even in a lace-weight. And it will drape beautifully. 

I know I was talking about the Drops sweater, but I want to chug a way on this for a bit and see if I can churn it out. It's kind of mindless, and with everything going on with Quinn, right now I need mindless. 

Speaking of which, I finished the last 3 washcloths. The person for whom they are planned "doesn't like to receive gifts," but this is a relatively "un-gifty" thing. It's practical and I don't care if they use them on their face or on their dishes...either way works for me. 

I chose tones of blue because I understand that's kind of the theme of their home, so there's that. 

And for now, I am officially D.O.N.E. with wash cloths and knitting with cotton. My hands hurt. 

I have re-stocked the cloths for my own use, along the way I've knitted 6 for Xmas gifts, and these 3 as an extra gift. I think I can check "washcloths" off my list for 2023. 

The Tea...

No, I'm not spilling any tea. I have none to spill... 

I have been accustomed to drinking chammomile tea at bedtime, but it's lately been aggravating my allergies, which is really annoying. I haven't slept well since Raisa got sick and passed, and now with everything else, I'm so scattered. I don't need to not sleep. I read about Butterfly Pea Flower tea, and I just loved the idea of blue tea. 

I didn't know that research has been done talking about the effects it had as a sleep aid. High in magnesium, helps with blood pressure, helps to relax you... though honestly, any herbal tea is, in my opinion, relaxing. Hot beverages are inherently relaxing. 

So I've been experimenting for (a) the right TIME to drink this; and (b) if it makes any difference in my sleep. I have noticed that if I drink it too close to bedtime, I'm up at 3 a.m. to pee, even if I'm in a rare moment of sleep...who needs that? I don't think I've done it enough to determine if it works, but I'm sure that, as the weather gets colder, I will drink more tea at night. 

Funny, the mug I used to like to use with these "strong colored" teas (like the rose hibiscus, which is a deep pink)... it broke. And I broke it. I was washing it, I said, "Self, put this in the sink first so you don't bump it," and of course, I bumped it, and it broke into a bunch of pieces. Crap. 

Random Picture...

It's pretty much Fall, though the temps are kinda spring-ish -- till they're not. And it being Illinois, this can happen within one day. But I got to "Birken-SOCK" and I love the way my new sandals and the orange socks kind of match the leaves in the yard. 

Who says I have no fashion sense? Well, probably a lot of people, but do I look like I actually care? Nope. 

And I have hand-knitted socks, so there... 

When I bought the sandals, the leather looked a bit darker when I chose the color. Not sure if it'll get darker or if it will stay this color. I am stuck with them, however, because I'll wear them till they fall apart, which I did with my other ones. 

I love to wear my socks, and when the weather cooperates, I do wear them with the Birkenstocks. I know there are these "transparent" shoes and clogs, but I'm sorry, they seem sweaty to me. Ugh. No thanks.